Do our readers conform to the stereotype of Berkeley as granola-eating, leftward-leaning hippies? If we look to this month’s mailbag, three unflattering portraits of the current presidency might well suggest an answer in the affirmative. Or are alums merely well-informed punsters? In a well-funded nonprofit universe, The Collected Twisted Titles would dedicate an entire section to these little windows into the current political climate.

"I’m only a sockeyed optimist"
This salmon thinks he can swim downstream!
Shalene White Hersh’59

Tic tac toe
A female deer with minty breath.
Tom Lamoree

Dense of humor
People who do not "get" Twisted Titles.
Pam Effenbeck Clemensen ’63

The Longest Yarn
Martha’s career unravelled.
Norma Facchini Logan ’57

Stanford-Bidet test
You cannot graduate unless you know what one is for.
David Hammer ’66

Lust in Space
Astronauts get amorous.
Karen Alverson-Gatrell’78

Groat Expectations
Buckwheat farmer hopes to cash in.
Bill Wallace ’73

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mink
Key to happiness for PETA-scorning, fur-wearing material girls.
Mac Brachman ’76

American Lie
Why, why, did the president lie? (Apologies to Don McLean)
Tom Rogers ’71 and Erin Rogers French

Hail to the Thief!
The votes belonged to Gore.
Pam Effenbeck Clemensen ’63

TGIQ
Cabinet members: "Tell George I quit."
Chris Argentos

Election dysfunction
Trouble getting the voting machines up and running. Charles Hunter ’57

No fry zone
Sign at Chez Panisse.
Joe Traynor ’57

The Tome Machine
Tom Clancy’s potboiler factory. Bill Wallace ’73

The welding date
‘Till death do us part.
Jeanette Schemel ’41

Back to squire one
Elaine dumps Lancelot for former suitor.
Jeanne Schemel ’41

Desperate Mousewives
Minnie and the girls invade a lo-carb cupboard.
Norma Facchini Logan ’57

Spice, the last frontier
In the land of meat and potatoes.
David Hammer ’66